First they attack our celebrities. Then they come for our elderly. Who's next? Our pets? Our BABIES?
We spend all this money fighting terror, when the real enemy has already surrounded us. Ladies and Gentlemen, consider this your wake-up call.
STINGRAYS ARE DECLARING A SPECIES WAR ON HUMANS!
You heard it hear first. A great Species War has just started, and Stingrays drew first AND second blood.
A few weeks back, they got to our beloved Crocodile Hunter. Then yesterday, they started trying to pick off our old people! From MiamiHerald.com:
81-year-old James Bertakis was out on the Intracoastal about 1 p.m. Wednesday when the spotted eagle stingray jumped into his 16-foot boat. Authorities believe Bertakis was trying to throw the slippery fish out of the boat when it struck him.
The sting left a foot-long toxic barb lodged in Bertakis' chest. It punctured both his lung and heart, physicians said.
Still not convinced we need to start boarding up our doors and windows? Think about this - Stingrays are obviously great strategists. Two attacks, weeks apart from each other and in different parts of the world. Who would think to put two and two together? (Luckily for humanity, I Smell Like A Genius.)
And why now? Well, they've obviously done their homework. They know most of the world is distracted by the World Series and new episodes of Lost. Oh - and the war on terror.
Kids, if they are this bold now, just imagine the CARNAGE when the new season of American Idol starts. I urge you to prepare and to warn others. I'd hate for this Species War to drag on as long as The Great European Beaver vs. Cinnamon-Breasted Tit battles of 1352/53.
