"Meat" the co-workers

The last Thursday of every month is potluck day at work. This means later on today I'll go through the whole "Oh you have to try Sue's chicken! It's sooo good. Oh, that's right. I forgot. You're a vegetarian. So what are you going to eat?"-experience AGAIN.

My answer (which I usually edit heavily): "Good question! I'll probably just forage outside for nuts and berries, maybe lick a tree. If I'm lucky I might find a banana someone dropped in the parking lot! ...What the f-ck do you think I'll eat? How about rolls, salad, soup, rice, cake, salsa, beans and pasta motherf-cker!?!" (I guess that'd really be "pasta, motherf-cker", not "pasta motherf-cker" - which is probably some insane Italian dish.)

Mrs. Malone also gets the freak-eye from her co-works for not eating meat. She remembers a time when her ex-boss (whose distended pudenda was the center of many a story) asked her "can you eat pie crust made from animals"? What the hell was she talking about? A zebra crumble?

Meat eaters can be weirdos. Especially if they're over 50.